


For the one I love

by 2018ChloeGoulD



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Other, will make you cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-26 14:16:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17747408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2018ChloeGoulD/pseuds/2018ChloeGoulD
Summary: After losing his magic to Asmodeus, Magnus becomes ill.No warlock can cure him, no one knows how to fix him…But someone who loves him holds the key, the question is… which one?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This only my second ever fan-fiction, and its a work in progress but will be updated regularly.

Magnus is in the Institute infirmary, fading in and out of consciousness with his beloved Alec at his side since collapsing in his arms 2 days ago. Catarina is lost, none of her magic is helping Magnus, making her scared: what kind of illness cannot be cured by a warlock? No-one had any answers.

The Institute is on high alert, Alec has ordered everyone to make sure no-one gets in without invitation to ensure Magnus is protected. Everyone is going through the books and archives to find something, anything, that can help.

The only relief to Magnus’s pain is the unhealthy dosage of morphine they have him on. That and the long line of friends who come to visit him though Alec always remains at his side.

As Magnus stirs, Alec helps make him comfortable though Magnus smiles, it’s clear his mind is elsewhere.

“We are going to find an answer, my love. We won’t stop until we know how to save you.” Alec says with complete sincerity. Magnus smiles.

“I fear this is my time, Alexander…”

“No!” Alec says sternly, his eyes filled with tears. “We have not come this far to fall now.” He holds Magnus hand tight to emphasis his point. “I. Am. Not. Going. To. Lose. You. Not now…” he cries. “We have too much left to do…” Alec rests his head on Magnus’s lap.

“I will fight, my beloved.” Magnus says, Alec looks up, his eyes filled with tears, and love.

“We will fight.” Alec says. “Together.”


	2. Chapter 0 – A solution

“I FOUND SOMETHING!” Catarina runs through the Institute with a big book in her hands, and bursts into the infirmary, when everyone turns to her – the whole family is at Magnus side, except Raphael, whom no-one can find. 

“You have something?” Alec stands eagerly, so Catarina shows him the book, he looks confused.

“This spell, its called “Healinthoulove” – it means that in order to save Magnus, someone has to transfer their “life energy” into him.”

“Okay, great.” Clary says as she stands to join them. “How do we do it?”

“You can’t.” Magnus says, everyone turns and faces him, he manages to roll his eyes. “I’m currently bed-bound, not deaf.” Jace unsuccessfully hides a smirk, Alec glares.

“What do you mean? We can save you!” Alec says.

“There is a price for using this spell, Alec.” Catarina says. “Whoever transfers their life energy… will be drained.” She slows, looking down. “Drained to death.” Everyone is shocked, and silent.

Clary pipes up again. “To save Magnus, one of us has to die?” 

Catarina sighs. “Yes.”

“No!” Magnus yells with his reserved strength. “No-one, I repeat, no-one is going to die for me.”

Magnus turns onto his side, away from everyone, and falls asleep. Tears fall from his eyes, as they do from everyone else. They have found their miracle, but now they need to convince Magnus too.


	3. Chapter 1 – The plan

Everyone moves to an adjoining room, leaving the door open slightly so Alec can keep Magnus in his eyesight.

“What do we do?” Alec asks. “What can we do to convince him?”

“We can’t.” Catarina looks down. “In order for the spell to work, both people have to accept the outcome. Both people have to love, respect and accept their fate or the spell won’t take… and both will die.”

For a while, everyone is quiet, unsure of what to say.

“Who’s going to do it?” Jace asks. “Who’s going to give their life? Cause…” he hesitates. “I’m not ready to play sacrificial lamb… and I know that Magnus is like this cause he saved me but… I don’t want to die.” He looks down at Clary, who’s holding his hand.

“I’ll do it.” Catarina wipes her face, which is now replaced with determined eyes. “I have lived a long and wonderful life… I’ll do it.” She looks round at everyone, who nod sadly. She looks at Alec, who can’t speak, so he hugs her.

“So…” Jace speaks up again. “How do we convince Magnus?”


	4. Chapter 2 – Clary

Clary decides to try first, she’s so young and kind that Magnus would listen, she hopes.

She sits beside his bed, and gently holds his hand.

“Hello, Biscuit.” Magnus says without opening his eyes. 

Clary chuckles lightly. “How did you know?”

“Because you smell like biscuits.” Magnus opens his eyes, Clary smiles.

“I always thought you called me that because of my hair.”

“That too.” Magnus smiles at her. “Sweet ginger snaps.” Clary laughs, Magnus smirks. Clary helps him sit up in the bed, then holds his hand again.

“Are you hear to try and change my mind, Clary?” He asks without accusation, still smiling.

“I am.” She says, holding herself strong so she won’t cry.

“There is nothing that can be said or done that’ll make me agree to let one of my friends die.”

“Not even if it is their choice?” Clary asks. “Not even if one of us would offer their life? Be willing and happy to save yours?”

“It’s too much.” Magnus looks down for a moment, then back up at Clary. “It’s not right to allow someone else to die so I may live. I’ve had hundreds of lifetimes, Clary. I’m ready.”

“What about Alec?” Clary whispers, the tears falling from her face. “What about the love of your life? The man who wants to spend the rest of his life with you?” She tightens her grip on his hand.

Magnus sighs. “Biscuit, I love Alexander. No, I ADORE him. But he is young, and he can find love again.” 

“That’s not…” Magnus cuts her off.

“Fair? You’re right, it’s not. But neither is letting someone sacrifice their life for mine. It’s not worth it. I’m not worth it.”

“You are.” Clary looks at him, unable to understand his words.

“Look me in the eye and tell me, honestly, if you had to sacrifice someone you love, if you had to sacrifice Simon or Jace to bring back your mother, would you?”

His words cut like a knife, Clary looks down unable to answer.

Sadly. “I thought so.” He removes his hand from Clary’s. “Please leave me be.” 

Clary nods, silently she stands and walks away, fresh tears flowing from her eyes.


	5. Chapter 3 – Isabelle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback. This chapter will contain some conflict and angst.

Magnus is asleep when Isabelle comes in. Clary’s words play on her mind (“It’s not worth it. I’m not worth it.”) She can’t believe that Magnus, fun-loving dramatic Magnus could be so broken.

She changes his morphine IV and wonders if she should wake him… but he beats her too it.

“If you’re going to try tell me I’m wrong, don’t bother.” Magnus says, eyes still closed. “But if you’re going to talk about something interesting like music or fashion, I’d be happy to offer my insight.” 

Isabelle smiles and sits beside Magnus, holding his hand just as Clary had before. “How did you know it was me?”

“I’d know the click of those fabulous heals anywhere.” Magnus opens his eyes and winks, Isabelle laughs lightly, he looks a little better, but she knows that’s down to the morphine – she tries not to think about that.

Isabelle sighs, Magnus sighs too – he knows where this is going.

“Do you really think you are not worth saving? That you have nothing to fight for?” Isabelle asks

“Yes… and no.” Magnus says, Isabelle looks confused. “I believe that I have had a very long life… filled with love and loss and happiness and betrayal.” He grips Isabelle’s hand.  
“And I also believe that my future with Alexander is worth everything I have, and one I want to fight for. But to sacrifice someone else to get it. And…”

Isabelle looks worried, Magnus looks her in the eyes. “I also know that I have not been the best I can be.”

“What?” Isabelle looks more confused than before. “You have saved everyone in this Institute several times over. You have saved Luke, Clary, Alec, Jace.” She splutters. “Everyone! You have saved everyone.”

He look down sadly. “Not Raphael.” Isabelle looks taken aback. “He had a sister named Rosa. She died 2 weeks ago at the age of 78.” His eyes are full of tears. “He told me she was unwell but I didn’t take heed, I didn’t check on him and he left.” Magnus cries silent tears. “He left and I didn’t even know.”

Isabelle looks unsure what to say, fresh guilt rises in her chest. “That is not your fault. He’s a vampire, he’s not your responsibility.”

“Actually, he is.” He looks her in the eyes again. “He’s my son.” 

When Isabelle doesn’t respond, Magnus becomes a little agitated. 

“But you knew that, didn’t you?” Isabelle cannot hide her shame and looks down. “Isabelle…” He grips her hand, she looks up. “Did you know he left?”

“I, I, I’m sorry.” She says, Magnus pulls his hand away with some force he didn’t know he still had.

[confused] “Why… are you sorry?” Isabelle looks up at him.

She composes herself. “I found out he was conducting experiments on a vampire that Simon accidentally turned, he was keeping her locked up and burning her to try and become a Daylighter.” Magnus keeps his anger, nodding for Isabelle to continue. “She escaped and chained him to a roof. Me and Clary got him down safely and later that night I confronted him.” Tears fill her eyes. “I told him to leave or… or.”

[seething] “Or what?”

“Or I’d report him to the Clave.” 

Magnus curses. “You little…” He reigns himself in. “You had NO RIGHT, Isabelle! Or are you forgetting that YOU [he points a finger at her] YOU got him drinking live blood again.”  
Isabelle cries, the guilt and shame is written all over her face but that doesn’t stop Magnus.

“You better find him, you better bring him back to me before I die.” He stops, seeing that Isabelle truly is devastated, he sinks into the pillow behind him, suddenly losing all his energy.

“Please.” he pleads. “If you are sorry, If I truly mean anything to you, please find him.” He becomes tired, his eyes flutter shut as whispers: “Please.”

Isabelle cries and flees the room, Alec and Jace call after her but she ignores them. Once she is alone, she composes herself and pulls out her phone, scrolling through the contacts till she finds the name: Simon, and calls him.

“Simon, I don’t have time to explain, Magnus is sick, it’s bad. Contact Luke, contact anyone, we HAVE to find Raphael… right now!


	6. Chapter 4 – Jace

Jace was trying to stay calm – He knows how much Magnus cares, he knows what he does for Alec and what he’s done for him, so why in the space of an hour has he made two people that he loves cry? Clary had not said anything to him and Isabelle had run off alone. What am I supposed to do, he thinks.

After pacing for about an hour, he decides to go see Magnus. As he approaches the bed, Magnus speaks without opening his eyes.

“Can I help you, Blondie?” Jace scoffs, not sure if he’s impressed Magnus knows it’s him, or angry for Clary and Izzy, he decides on the latter.

“You made my girlfriend and my sister cry… care to tell me why?” Jace said forcefully, but surprisingly without malice.

Magnus opens his eyes. “It was not my intention.”

Jace sighs to himself and helps Magnus sit up. Unlike Clary and Isabelle, he doesn’t hold his hand, or sit by his side, he stands at the foot of the bed. A Warrior Guardian… a grouchy warrior guardian. Perhaps that is why Magnus likes him, he reminds him of Raphael.

As the thought enters his mind, Magnus looks down sadly. Jace softens, only a little.

“Are you going to give up? Leave my brother? After all you two have been through together.” It comes out cold, but Jace doesn’t have the time or patience to play nice.

“We have a plan, Magnus.” Magnus looks up, Jace composes himself. “Catarina is going to prepare the spell, then she’s going to save your life.”

“No, she is not.”

“Magnus…”

“No!” Jace looks annoyed and grits his teeth. “I am not letting my oldest friend die for me.” Jace wants to argue but a hard look from Magnus stops him. “I lost my dearest friend Ragnor not 7 months ago – it nearly killed me… for he was my brother. Not by blood but by something much stronger, something you above all should understand.

“And what is that?”

“By choice.” Jace lets his shoulders hang, Magnus has hit a nerve. “Ragnor, Catarina, Raphael, Madzie, Alexander… they are my family of choice. Choice is what I have left, Jace. And I choose to not let someone I love die for my sake.”

Oh no, not now, but Jace isn’t quick enough to stop the tear fall down his face.

“I love Alexander, you know I do but…” He sighs. “I would never be able to live with myself knowing that Catarina died for it, for us, for me.”

Jace turns away, trying to force the tears to stop, they do, but Magnus can see his pain.

“I am sorry for upsetting Clary but you should know something about Isabelle.”

His tone makes Jace turns back to face him, his mask has gone back on. “What about Izzy?”

“A long story short, she played a part is taking something dear from me and I snapped at her. I wish to apologise but she has not returned to my side. Please ask her to come see me?” He looked hopeful so Jace nodded and left.

Magnus sighed rested his head back again, he closed his eyes and drifted into uneasy sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I am totally winging this. Please give feedback of anything or anyone you'd like me to bring into the story.


	7. Chapter 5 – Maia and Luke

Alec allowed Luke and Maia into the Institute, Maia went off to see Magnus, while Luke went to talk to Isabelle. Alec had to stay on the main floor though he had everyone swear to the Angel they would come for him if Magnus got worse.

Maia enters to see Magnus, he is eating some food though it doesn’t look appealing. Before she can utter a word, Magnus speaks without raising his head. “It’s impolite to lurk.” He looks up, Maia smiles and walks over to him. She kisses his cheek and sits by his side.

“I saw the show as me and Luke came in, honestly I will never understand how you get anything done with them.”

“Charm, steak and lots of cocktails… with gin.” They both laugh. “Not that I can have that here.” Magnus gives up trying to eat the food. Isabelle left it before he woke up, she still wouldn’t talk to him, Maia breaks him out of his thoughts.

“So care to explain to me why my best tipper is holed up in a Shadowhunter hospital?” Maia asked, genuinely curious. 

“You were not told why?”

“Simon called, said you were sick. Asked Luke to track down Raphael but we have had no luck.” Magnus sighed and rubbed his eyes, Maia looked worried. “Are you sick?”  
“Yes.” Maia looked surprised then broke into an uneasy smile.

“You’re pulling my leg, right? Your Magnus Bane, former High Warlock of Brooklyn, Mr Life-Of-The-Party… what’s up?” 

“I’m dying.” Maia looks disbelieving.

“No you’re not, stop winding me…” He looks directly at her and she sees it, the red marks of crying, the pain behind his eyes, her smile drops into terror. “You can’t be! There has to be something to save you!” She grips his hand, he smiles at her fondly.

“The only way has a price to high, one I will not accept or allow.”

“It can’t be that bad?” She sounds hopeful, it breaks Magnus heart to see her suffer.

“To allow me to live, another would have to die. Someone I love and adore would…” He’s cut off by a fit of coughing, Maia lets his hand go to grab some tissues. She gives them to him and rubs his back till he stops. She sits and moves to hold his hand again when she sees the blood on the tissue. They share a look as her eyes fill with tears.

“Do you understand?” he whispers, pained. Maia nods as the tears flow. She bends her head to kiss his hand, then looks back upto him as he leans back.

“You were always a daughter to me, Maia. Ever since you strutted your way into my life 2 years ago. I hope you know…” He takes a big intake of breath. “How much I adore and respect you.” 

Maia smiles through her tears, then tries to compose herself.

“I hope YOU know, how much I admire you Magnus Bane. For all you are and all you do. “ She wipes her face with her free hand. 

They share a smile.

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Just… just…” he sighs, forcing his eyes to stay open. “Never stop being you. You always follow your big beautiful heart, your kindness and your sass…” she laughs. “It’s so splendid to see. Promise you won’t lose that.”

She grips his hand tight, and stares right into his eyes. “I promise.”   
\--  
As Maia is in with Magnus, Isabelle fills Luke in on everything, for once he is completely shocked. Isabelle brings him back.

“I believe the one person who might be able to change his mind is Raphael. You said there has been no sightings?” she sounds worried.

“I used the police station to access CCTV, I put the word out to the wolves to keep looking, but yeah, so far nothing.”

Isabelle paces, this is not good, she thinks when there is a knock on the door.

“It’s Maia.” Luke opens the door and immediately sees Maia has been crying. This.is.bad he thinks as he pulls her into a hug.

Unsure what to say, Isabelle speaks up. “How is he?”

Luke releases Maia, who turns to Isabelle. “It’s bad. He… he started coughing blood.”

Luke and Isabelle both look pained so Luke speaks up. “Is he still awake?”

“Yes, he doesn’t like falling asleep so much – I think he’s scared of not waking up again.” Luke pulls Isabelle over and engulfs her and Maia into a hug. 

“I’m going to go talk to him quick, can you stay here and help Izzy?” Maia nods, Luke leaves.

 

\- 

 

Luke walks to the Infirmary, muttering to himself, unsure what he’s going to say. He opens the door, Magnus is sat up in bed… putting some eye-liner on!

Luke chuckles to himself. “Lucien!” Magnus exclaims happily. “Get over here!” 

Luke walks over and sits by his side. “Rumours of your impending demise must be farfetched.” Magnus smiles.

“Noo… they are true.” He puts the eye-liner away onto the side desk, then turns back to Lucien and smiles. “I’m just making the most of the adrenaline shot they have started me on.”

Luke’s smile drops, as does Magnus’s. “Luke, you have always been a friend.” Luke looks at him, unsure of what’s coming. “And you are also a leader so please can you promise me something?” 

Luke nods. “Anything.”

“When I am gone…” [the word hangs in the air, making them both shudder] “I would ask you to look out for my family.”

“The Shadowhunters?”

“Them too but they will help take care of each other. I am talking of my Downworlder family.”

“Of course, name them.”

“The warlocks in general, but I do have my… much-loved and dear friends.” Luke nods again.

“Catarina Loss, Madzie Loss, Dorethia Collins.” 

“I can do that.”

“The wolves, particularly Maia, she’s an amazing woman.”

Luke smiles. “That she is. Anyone else?”

Magnus hesitates. “The vampires, Simon obviously…. And Raphael Santiago.”

Luke closes his eyes and nods before opening them again. “Isabelle said he’s very special to you.”

“As Simon and Clary are to you.” Luke nods, understanding, he bites back the need to make a bitchy remark about Raphael being a pain in the ass

“We have tried to find him, but have unable to.”

“You may have to branch outside of the city…” Magnus is cut off by a sudden need to sleep, Luke helps lower him back so he doesn’t injure himself – the adrenaline shot wore off fast.

“I’ll find him, I’ll protect them, I swear.”

Magnus falls asleep, smiling.


	8. Chapter 6 – Meliorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected turn of events.

Alec retreated to his office and collapsed in his chair. He closed his eyes to find a brief moment of relief. Relief from his job, from the worry of protecting his family and the terror of losing Magnus.

“Magnus.” He whispers as he sits bolt upright, his moment of relief shattered. He fights not to cry, he can’t let himself break.

“I can’t lose him.” He whispers to himself. A gentle knock on the door brings him back to reality.

“Come in.” he says in a tough voice, determined not to let his emotions show.

The door opens and Meliorn enters. “How are you, Alec?” He asks.

Alec holds himself strong and stands to shake his hand, which he does.

“We are managing well, thank you.”

“How is Magnus?”

Alec bits his lip. “He’s… not well. We have a cure to save him but…” He lets out a shaky breath. “He will not take it.”

Meliorn makes a confused face. “Why?”

Alec swallows. “It would require a terrible sacrifice. Someone he loves would have to die. He won’t allow it.” Alec’s facade cracks, his lip quivers slightly. “I don’t know if I hate or love him for his decision.” He looks down.

“May I ask you a personal question?” Alec nods. “From what I understand of Magnus Bane, he is a passionate man. “Alec slightly shifts, Meliorn notices and smiles lightly. “Not what I meant.” Alec nods. “He is someone who is willing to do anything for those he loves yet will not accept the same in return?” Alec nods again, Meliorn hums to himself. “May I see him? I wish him no harm.”

Alec leads Meliorn to the Infirmary and takes a peek inside as he opens the door. He sees Magnus sat up in the bed and smiles at the sight but then sees Magnus’s eyes. His beautiful eyes are surrounded by red raw marks, from crying and pain. The sight pains his own heart. He mumbles to Meliorn and leaves, he can’t bear to see his beloved in this state.

Meliorn enters the room, Magnus looks up, surprised. “Meliorn? I did not expect to see you.”

“I heard you are ill, I am concerned.”

Magnus raises his eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yes. You know I cannot lie.”

Magnus smiles. “Well I appreciate it.”

“Alec filled me in of your situation, you are going to die.” He doesn’t ask it as a question but a statement. Magnus nods.

“Yes, I am. Death comes for us all, my friend. Even the immortals.”

Meliorn nods. “I understand why you will not take the cure. But you do understand the consequences of this decision?”

“I do. In time, everyone will recover.”

“Alec will not.” Magnus looks down, the guilt written all over his face, he looks back up to face Meliorn. “Shadowhunters fall in true unending love only once in their lives. Alec fell for you. His love and devotion to you is clear just through the way he looks at you.”

A tear falls from Magnus’s eye, he nods and whispers. “I know.”

“To love and be loved is a beautiful concept… but to lose and be lost is a fate far worse than death. I know the cost of this cure will be devastating for you but the impact of your loss could be catastrophic for the whole world, both the Mundane and the Downworld.”

Magnus wipes the tears from his face, he knows Meliorn speaks true. “I know this pains you, but you are needed in this world and since someone is willing to sacrifice themselves… you should consider their offer.”

Meliorn takes Magnus hand and kisses it tenderly. “Please think about what I have said.” 

Magnus nods, Meliorn bows and leaves.

Magnus takes a big breath in, doubt has been sewn into his mind, he whispers to himself. “I don’t know what to do.”


	9. Chapter 7 – Catarina and Madzie

Since deciding that she will save Magnus, Catarina left to go get Madzie. As much as she wanted to keep her away from the situation, she knew that Madzie could be used as the hidden ace up her sleeve. Catarina knows Magnus loves his “children” dearly and if all else fails, she might be able to convince him to live.

They arrive at the institute as Meliorn leaves, he nods to them politely as they pass.

Once inside, Madzie makes a beeline for Alec, yelling his name. “Alec! Alec!” He smiles and bends down to pick her up.

“How’s my favourite little sorceress?”

“Okay. We came to see Magnus.” Alec doesn’t let his smile drop in front of Madzie, but Catarina sees the shift in his eyes as he puts her down.

“Madzie” he turns and points to Isabelle. “Go see Izzy, I need to talk to Catarina quickly okay?” She nods and skips off, Alec takes Catarina aside.

“Why did you bring her? She’s a child.”

“She is the only card I have left to play.” She takes a big breath in before explaining. “Madzie adores you and Magnus. I think I might be able to convince him you two should raise her together.”

“What about you? She’s lived with you for months. We can’t just pass her around.”

“Do you want Magnus to live?!” Alec flinched back, Catarina quickly apologised. “I’m sorry… but I am out of ideas.” Alec doesn’t look pleased but before he can respond, he sees Madzie and Isabelle have disappeared.

In the infirmary, Magnus is “resting his eyes” when Madzie come in. “Magnus!” she says happily.

Magnus opens his eyes and smiles happily. “Sweet pea!” He sees Isabelle standing at the door. “Please come in, Isabelle.” She nods and moves towards them. She picks Madzie up and lets her sit on the side of the bed so she can hug Magnus. He chuckles as they separate. 

“Madzie, would you be a sweetheart and get me a glass of water please?” He points to the water jug on the side. Isabelle helps her off the bed so she can get it. Magnus lowers his voice and holds out his hand, Isabelle takes it. “Please forgive my outburst earlier. I was caught off-guard and it was a lot to take in.” Isabelle nods.

“The fault is mine. I handled Raphael’s situation badly.” They both nod.

“Have you managed to find him?”

Isabelle shakes her head. “We have put the word out but it’s like he disappeared without a trace. Can’t we get Catarina to do a locator spell?”

“No. There’s no point.” Isabelle looks confused. “I raised him, I taught him how to avoid detection. Looks like I taught him too well.” Isabelle nods when Madzie returns, she gives the glass to Magnus.

“Thank you, sweetie.”

“Are you sick? I head Cat say you’re sick.” Madzie looks up at him with her big brown eyes. Isabelle nods to Magnus and retreats out the door. Magnus puts the water down.

“Yes, Sweet Pea, I am sick… and I’m afraid I won’t get better.”

Madzie looks sad, Magnus looks unsure what to say. “What will happen to me?” Madzie asks.

“You will always be love and cared for. You’ll stay with Catarina. And Alec and Isabelle and Clary will come to see you.”

Madzie looks down. “It won’t be the same.”

“I know but…” Before Magnus can continue, Catarina opens the door, Madzie runs out past her.

“Madzie!” Catarina calls but Madzie doesn’t look back. Alec is stood next to Catarina. 

“I’ll go find her.” She nods as he leaves.

Magnus sighs and Catarina sits next to him.

“She’ll understand.”

Catarina scoffs. “Is that all you have to say? She adores you.”

“Yes… and she needs you. My life is hectic and unpredictable. You are reliable and can care for her.”

“That is an excuse and you know it.”

Magnus coughs badly, Catarina hands him the water glass. Once he recovers, Catarina steels herself.

“Let me perform the spell. Let me help you.”

Magnus sighs. “No. No, I am not letting you do this.”

“Magnus, we’ve known each other for over 200 years. Have lived through several lifetimes together. You’ve always had my back. Let me do this.”

“I said no.” 

Catarina stands, angrily. “What about Alec… is he not enough to live for? What about Madzie?” she holds his hand. “You and Alec could raise her together… wouldn’t that be perfect?” She looks hopeful.

“It would… but can’t you understand? You’d have to DIE, because of ME. I wouldn’t be able to handle that burden.” Catarina sighs. “I love you, Cat. Your my oldest friend… This isn't just about me, you have people who need you. Please understand.”

Catarina nods, realising she must accept defeat. “I understand.” She whispers. She lets go of his hand and leaves the room. Once outside the infirmary, she walks till she finds and empty room, shuts the door then sinks to the floor and breaks down crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay everyone, thank you for your patience.
> 
> Up next is the chapter everyone is waiting for... Alec is up next.
> 
> Please leave comments below.


	10. Chapter 8 – Alec

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prepare to cry!! Fair warning.

“You have been avoiding me.” Magnus says as Alec enters the room. He leans down and give Magnus a gentle kiss then sits by his side.

“Yes, I have.”

“Why?”

“I, uh, understand your decision. But it hurts.” Magnus closes his eyes and bows his head. “I thought we would have years’ together, fight a couple of wars, drink some strange cocktails… maybe have kids…” Magnus opens his eyes and smiles. “But now that won’t happen.”

“I want all those things… I want all those things will you, Alexander.” Magnus blinks back the tears. 

“Not enough.” Alec looks at him, looks into his beautiful eyes which are now filled with pain. 

“I am in love with you.” Magnus states. “I’ve opened myself upto you more than anyone I have ever known.”

“As I have with you. Magnus before I met you I never believed I could be myself, let alone find love and acceptance. YOU made that possible for me.”

They cry.

“But I also know if I was in your position… I’d make the same choice. I could never put Jace or Izzy or Max, or even Clary in danger to save myself…”

They share an intense look. “Magnus I have to ask you something.” He nods. “Why did you never tell me Raphael is your son?”

“I have always been protective of Raphael. I found him 2 months after he became a vampire. He was…” Magnus hesitates. 

Alec takes his hands. “You know you can tell me anything. There’s no judgement.”

Magnus nods. “There was a rumour that criminals were turning up dead, in two months 65 people turned up dead… they were drained of blood and their necks were slashed.”

Alec nodded. “He was trying to cover it up.”

“Yes… When I found him, he was on a park bench outside the cemetery, waiting for the sun rise… From the reports I heard, I was expecting someone crazy or feral but I sat down next to him and he turned to me…”

“He was covered in blood, yet had the face of a child. I looked down and saw a Cross burning in his hand, he was praying for forgiveness, full of self-loathing.”

Magnus smiles lightly. “Self-hatred… been there.” Alec nods. “I asked him to let me help. He resisted at first but came home with me… and didn’t leave for 6 months. I helped him through intense withdrawal and regain his faith in himself. He helped me love again.” Tears fall from Magnus eyes. “He was the first friend I made in 30 years… since Camille broke my heart. He always said I saved him when the truth is, he saved me.”

He laughs sadly. “I never told you because there are those out in the world who would see me suffer, and I know you are not one of them… But I could not risk exposing our relationship. Plus all the business with him and Isabelle... I was afraid. Do you forgive me?”

“There is nothing to forgive.” Magnus kisses Alec’s cheek. As he pulls back he coughs badly, Alec rubs his back.

“Can you do something for me, Alexander?”

“Anything…”

Magnus holds out his hands. “Dance with me.” 

Alec looks nervous. “You’re too weak, I don’t want to hurt you.”

Magnus smiles. “You could never hurt me. There is a record player over on the side there, can you turn it on?”

Alec stands and turns on the record – slow intro music starts. Alec then moves to Magnus’s bed and helps him stand. Magnus holds onto Alec, so he lifts him gently to stand on top of his feet. 

Alex whispers. “I can’t dance.”

Magnus smiles. “Just move your feet back and forth, one at a time.” Alec does as Magnus says. They sway, step and smile.

The music starts, Alec listens to the words and wraps Magnus in a loving hug.

[the song] – “It was love at first sight, I couldn’t bear it one more night, without you. Heaven only know how much I love you. Heaven only knows how much I care…”

Alec buries himself into Magnus’s shoulder, crying.

“I wish we could stay in this moment forever.” Magnus whispers.

Magnus suddenly starts coughing, he coughs blood so Alec lifts him to the bed and strokes his hair till he calms.

Sleepily. “Thank you.” 

Alec stays by Magnus side for the next hour, then he slips off the bed and places a kiss to Magnus forehead then leaves.

[Alec leaves the Infirmary and enters the main hall, everyone is there]:

Clary, Jace, Catarina, Isabelle, Maia, Luke and Simon – when did he get here?

Alec tries to hold himself together. “He won’t last the night…”


	11. Chapter 9 – Raphael

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He is back!!!  
> Magnus beloved son returns... can he save his papa from death?

“What the HELL is going on?” Everyone turns, someone is stood in the doorway, the figure has their hood up and their face covered.

“Wait...” Isabelle recognised these eyes, a smile spreads on her face. “Raphael!” she exclaims, unsure to smile or cry.

Raphael pulls down his mask and hood, there is a burn the side his face, he sees everyone stare. “It’s from the sun… that’s why I had the protection on.” He removes his gloves and shoves them into his hoodie pocket. “Not the point…” he mutters to himself.

Isabelle steps forward. “I’m glad you came, I wasn’t sure...” Raphael glares.

“Isabelle, I have just crossed 200 miles hitchhiking, got burned multiple times to get here as quickly as I could and I haven’t eaten or slept since yesterday so forgive me for being curt, but where is Magnus? I heard he is very ill.”

Isabelle nods and looks down, Raphael’s face drops as he looks round, not one person is smiling, Jace isn’t even making snide remarks, he realises this is bad.

Jace steps forward. “He’s dying, Raphael.” Unsure what to do or where to look, Raphael locks eyes with Isabelle who’s fighting the urge to cry.

Raphael makes a fist to try and stay calm. “Can you save him?” Now Isabelle steps up.

“There is a way, but he won’t take it.” Before Raphael can ask why, Clary beats him to it.

“He won’t take it because it requires sacrificing someone he loves.”

Raphael nods then looks suspicious. “Did anyone volunteer?” Everyone shifts uncomfortably, Catarina steps forward.

“I did. I tried everything. Using Alec, Madzie… but he’s prepared to die and I don’t know how to stop it.” Tears fill her eyes.

Raphael moves towards Catarina and hugs her, then stands back. “I do.” He declares. “Where is he?”

Raphael arrives at the Infirmary, he enters the room. Magnus eyes are closed, his breathing is raspy when he chokes out. “Rapha… is that you?”

Raphael moves the bed side seat and clasps Magnus hand. “It’s me. How did you know?”

Magnus opens his eyes. “Your shoes squeak.” They both smile. Magnus takes a long look at him and frowns. “What are you wearing? And where have you been, Raphael?” The last part came out with some force.

Raphael sighs. “I’ve been underground for the last 2 weeks. Travelling round to different areas. It’s easy to find work in soup kitchens and hostels… you know how good my cooking is.” Raphael winks, Magnus smiles lovingly. “And I’m dressed like an idiot because designer jackets draw attention…” Magnus smiles drops slowly.

“I… am so sorry about Rosa.” Raphael looks down then reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a box.

“I got you a present.” Magnus takes the box from him. “Open it later.”

“Okay…”

“I know everything Magnus, I know you are dying and I know I can save you.”

Magnus looks horrified. “Not a chance in Hell.”

“Mags… Let me do this for you.”

“No.” he chokes out. “I won’t let you die for me.”

“Papa…” he breaks down, sobbing. “For 65 years you have been my father and my friend.” They both smile. “Without Rosa, you’re all I have left. I have no-one else. If you die… I’ll die too. Let it not be for nothing, let it mean something.” Magnus eyes fluttered, starting to close. “Mags… you have to say yes.” He pleads at him but his eyes close, a tear falls.  
“Cat, get in here now!!” Raphael yells, holding Magnus’s hand. Catarina bursts in through the door, the rest of the family close behind, minus Madzie who is playing with Max on the other side of the Institute. 

Catarina begins the chant, everyone rushes in, Isabelle and Jace hold Alec back as he tries to get to Magnus. 

[Magnus and Raphael appear to be in a large grey room, there is nothing there] 

“Where are we?” Raphael asks.

“Our minds are trapped in limbo.” Raphael turns, Magnus stands behind him.

“Why?”

“Because I never said yes!” Magnus voice echos around them. “You are not doing this.”

“Too late, the spell has started, no take backs now… so either I go, or we both go.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” Magnus’s scream ripples through their minds, making their bodies badly spasm in the real world. 

Alec looks scared, still being held back by Isabelle and Jace. “Cat, what’s happening to them?” 

She mutters and completes the spell then opens her eyes. A red mist circles Raphael and Magnus, she turns to face everyone.

“I have done all I can, it’s all upto them now.” She turns and looks at Magnus and Raphael, who have been moved to lay on the bed next to each other, hands entwined. “Either Magnus comes back…” a single tear falls from each of her eyes. “Or neither of them do.” 

Everyone watches them both, too nervous to breathe and too scared to move.

[In Limbo, Magnus and Raphael argue]

“You have done so crazy, things in your time, Raphael… but this is too far!” Magnus snaps.

“I am doing it to save you!!! Why are you being so stubborn?! Say yes and go back to your family.” Raphael says angrily.

“YOU are my family!” Magnus yells back. “Your my son… what on Earth made you think that’s I’d agree to this?!”

“I don’t know, Mags… maybe the fact that you don’t care about me?”

Magnus looks shocked and hurt by his words. “How dare you? I saved you, I raised you, I looked after you even when it hurt.” Sincerely. “I love you more than anyone.”

Raphael scoffs. “Really? You care so much about me? You didn’t know I was keeping a vampire hostage and experimenting on her!” Magnus opens his mouth to protest but Raphael beats him to it. “ROSA DIED!!!!!!” he roars. Magnus doesn’t flinch and his anger turns to pity for his son. [How could I not see my son in such pain??] He wonders.

Raphael cries. “She died and I wasn’t there. She died alone…” Tears fall from Raphael’s face, Magnus takes a small step forward. “She died alone… and I couldn’t even go to the funeral… then stupid Simon kept asking me things and used some kind of spell on me and broke my shoulder.” His tears slow. “Then the vampire Heidi escaped, killed mundanes and chained me to a roof and left me to burn… I deserved that…” He bows his head in shame, Magnus steps forward and pulls him into a hug. Raphael resists at first, and then buries his face into Magnus’s chest and starts to cry again.

“You didn’t deserve that, sweet boy. You didn’t deserve any of this.” He kisses the top of Raphael’s head, and then holds his face so he looks up at him. “Do you really think I don’t care?”

“No.” Raphael chokes out. “You’re the best person I have ever known.” Magnus uses his thumbs to wipe Raphael’s tears away. “And that’s why you have to go back. Go back and live a long life with Alec.” Raphael leans in and they hug again. “You make him a better person… and he makes you the happiest I’ve ever seen you.” They smile. “Except that time you stripped in Vegas wearing that, what do you call it? A mankini.” They both burst out laughing. “You know that scarred me for life?” They smile and separate to look at each other again.  
“I have lived a good life because of you. I got to watch my mother grow old, my sister be happy as well as live a long life and my best friend… I got to watch her get married inside a church because you helped me regain my faith that I’m not a monster.”

They smile and cry, but these are not tears of sadness.

“Love doesn’t end because someone dies, papa. You will always have the memories and history we have shared together… but my story is done… yours is not.” Magnus lets out a shaky breath. “I didn’t choose this life, neither did you. But… I am a monster and the only person who stops it coming out is you. These last weeks I have been on my own, unable to reach out to you have been horrible. All I want to do is rip into people’s necks and feed till I pass out…” He looks down in shame, then back up to Magnus. “Please, papa, you need to live… for Alec, for Madzie… and for me.” Raphael shakes his head. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Magnus sees the pain in Raphael’s eyes, pain that’s been there for many years, pain that will never go away. He realises this is not all about him, he needs to do what is right.

They share a long loving look which seems to last forever until Magnus nods. “Okay.” Magnus chokes out, Raphael smiles.

Raphael takes Magnus hands. “Repeat after me. I, Magnus Bane…”

Shaking. “I, Magnus Bane…”  
“Accept the life of Raphael Santiago…”

“Accept the life of Raphael Santiago…” Magnus cries again.

“I say yes, to accept this life force, and will treasure it till the day I die.”

Magnus hesitates, Raphael nods. “I say yes, to accept this life force, and will treasure it till the day I die.”

Raphael whispers. “Last part.” Magnus nods.

“I, Raphael Santiago, give me life, my spirt and soul for the one I love above all.” Magnus sobs. “I accept my death, and pray for his life.” Suddenly they are both engulfed in red mist, they scream each other’s name….

IN THE INFIRMARY  
Magnus wakes up yelling “Raphael!!!!” He sees everyone on the other side of the room. Everyone seems frozen, though Alec breaks into a smile. But before he can get to Magnus, Magnus looks down to see Raphael’s lifeless body next to him.

He leans down and buries his face on Raphael’s chest. “Oh god… what have I done?” He sobs into his chest. No-one moves, they can only observe the scene.  
Alec walks over and places his hand on Magnus shoulder. He whispers gently. “Magnus?” he looks up but cannot bring himself to say anything to Alec, but he removes himself from Raphael, Alec engulfs him in a loving hug.

“What you crying for?”

Everyone gasps, Magnus looks down, Raphael has opened his eyes.

“Alexander please tell me this is not a trick.”

“It’s not.” Alec actually smiles. “He’s okay.” Magnus pulls away from Alec to kiss Raphael’s head but then stands back.

“Raphael… your skin is turning grey.” Everyone finally breaks out of their trance and moves towards the bed. Catarina looks at Raphael’s hands.

“This should have been instant. He doesn’t have long…”

Magnus looks completely baffled, unsure to smile or keep crying.

“Mags… take me outside.”

“Why?” Magnus chokes out.

Breathless, Raphael chokes out, “I want to see the sky… one last time.”

Luke steps forward and picks Raphael up. Magnus numbly leads them to the back door of the Institute. People gasp as they go by. Once they get outside, Luke gently lays Raphael down on the grass. Magnus holds Raphael in a tight hug as they sit on the ground. Everyone else in their family sits in a close circle around them. Raphael whispers something into Magnus’s ear, he nods.

Raphael’s arms are almost completely grey…

“Isabelle?” He asks gently. She moves forwards and kneels by his side.

“I’m so sorry. “ She chokes out. 

“No, don’t apologise. You’re heart is so good and full of light, don’t be afraid to let others see it. I know we both made terrible mistakes, said awful things…” she nods. “But I never lied about how I feel for you.” He hesitates. “I think you, Isabelle Lightwood, are amazing. And I adore you.” He smiles, Isabelle cries and holds his hand. “I know you don’t feel the same.” He wheezes. “I know your heart lies elsewhere.” Isabelle looks confused, Raphael beckons her to lean in close so he whispers something in her ear. “Tell him how you feel… don’t wait too long.” Isabelle pulls back, Raphael manages a small wink. She nods and moves back.

The grey sneaks up onto Raphael’s shoulders, he croaks out. “Alec.” 

Alec moves over to Raphael, tears falling from his eyes. “You love him?”

Alec nods. “Yes.”

“Will you look after him for me?”

Alec nods. “Yes.”

“Will you forgive me, for my sins?” he glances at Isabelle.

Alec takes in a shaky breath. “Yes.” 

Raphael smiles lightly, and his eyes start to flutter, Magnus shakes him slightly. “Rapha, hold on please! Just a little longer… look!” Everyone turns and sees the sun peak over the trees, the light hits Raphael’s face. A single tear rolls down his face.

“It’s beautiful… Thank you… I’m free…” he whispers gently as his face turns grey. Everyone watches and cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!!
> 
> I want to again thank you all for your lovely comments, it really means the world.
> 
> There are 3 chapters left before this story ends... and I want everyone to know I really struggled with the ending because I had so many different ideas...
> 
> Please let me know if I made the right choice...


	12. Mourn loss and live for the future

After Raphael takes his last breath, Jace wraps his arms round Clary, Simon holds Isabelle and Luke hugs Maia. 

Magnus lets out an almighty scream, the sound is so pained… he can’t leave Raphael’s side, clutching to his hand like a glimmer of hope may remain. 

The woods surrounding them shakes as a portal opens in the tree’s. 

Everyone except Magnus stands and stares. Meliorn steps through the portal, followed by the Seelie Queen and her guards.

She looks down at Rapahel’s body. “Oh dear.” She says the words with a coldness that would make the Devil shudder. Meliorn looks down at Raphael with sadness in his eyes.  
“A shame… he had potential.” Small gasps escaped the group, Jace clutches his sword, ready to fight the Queen.

Magnus looks up and growls. “What. Do you. Want?” he spits out with a venom that no-one has ever heard from him before.

“Now, now, be nice.” The Queen taunts. “Or you shall have no present.”

Magnus gently lays Raphael’s head to the floor, then stands with no fear – anger and grief radiates from his body. “I said, what do you want?”

The Queen shows no emotion and is unfazed by Magnus stance.

“I came here to save your life, though it seems he beat me to it.” They both look down at Raphael, then Magnus looks back at the Queen.

“And how did you plan to save me?” he sneers. “I have no love for you.”

The Queen smiles. “No… but I have this.” She pulls out a topaz stone from under her cloak. Magnus gasps, his anger disappears and moves to take the stone though the Queen pulls her hand back.

“Nope! This was for you to save your life, a plea made by.” She glances at Meliorn. “A concerned party.” Magnus doesn’t take his eyes off her hand. “As you are now well, there is no need for it.” 

“I could use it too…”

“To what? Save your precious vampire? He is dead.” She laughs to herself. “No. I think I’ll keep this.” 

Magnus’s anger floods his veins, the Queen dials back her glee. “I am sorry for your loss…” She turns to the group of people stood watching. “There is nothing for me here, so I’ll be on my way.” She turns to leave, but Meliorn stays put.

“Meliorn?” He stares at Raphael’s body and does not move. The Queen rolls her eyes. “Come with me now, or you’ll never set foot in the Seelie Realm again.”

“Then I’ll never return.” The Queen looks shocked.

“Why?”

Meliorn has no answer and stays silent. 

The Queen tuts to herself and chucks the stone to Magnus, who catches it.

“Use that stone wisely. It will only work once.” She looks down to Raphael. “Let the dead stay dead. You are alive, he is not. You never know when you may need it.”

Magnus doesn’t thank or even smile at her. The Queen stamps her foot and leaves, her guards follow her through the portal.

Magnus turns back to Raphael, with the stone in hand. Meliorn stands in front of him, blocking his path.

“She spoke harsh but true.” Magnus looks ready to cry again. “He was not alone when he died?”

Alec steps forward. “He died with his family.”

Meliorn nods. “Then let him rest.” Magnus looks anguished but nods tearfully.

Alec speaks up again. “Who will help me carry him?” Luke, Jace, Maia and Clary all step forward and pick Raphael up gently. Isabelle places a hand on Alec’s shoulder, and takes his place. They carry Raphael inside, Meliorn and Simon follows.

Magnus remains in the garden with Alec by his side. Alec looks at the stone in Magnus’s hand. “What is it?”

“A Thunderstone. It can restore power/light/energy… you get the picture. I thought none are left in existence.” Alec wraps his arm round Magnus’s shoulders. Magnus nuzzles his head onto Alec’s shoulder.

After a long moment, Magnus speaks up again. “It could restore my magic.” Alec doesn’t move.

“Do you want to restore your magic?”

They stand in silence.

They decide to wait until after Raphael’s funeral to talk about the stone. 

\--------------[3 days go by. The morning of the funeral, Alec and Magnus are getting dressed] -----------------------

Alec seems nervous.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Magnus asks.

“I know this is awful timing, but I need you to know I’m here… now and always. Whatever you need, whenever you need it.” His hands shake as he reaches into his pocket. “What I’m trying to ask is…” Before he can finish, Magnus holds up his hand.

“Wait.” He smiles. “Please.” Magnus pulls his necklace out from under his shirt, there is a ring attached. A gasp escapes Alec’s lips as Magnus removes the ring and holds it up, bending to one knee in the process.

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood… my soulmate… and love of all my lives… will you marry me?”

Alec smile and kneels to the floor to look directly into Magnus’s eyes. “Yes, I will.” A tear fall from Magnus’s eye as he slips the ring onto Alec’s finger. They laugh and smile.  
Alec pulls himself together long enough to pull out the ring box from his coat.

“Magnus Bane… my love… my friend… I adore you.” Tears fall from both their faces. “Every moment I am not with you, I’m thinking of you. Every moment I’m with you, I treasure. We have been through so much together… happiness and tears… I don’t know everything… but I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you…

Alec holds the ring to Magnus’s hand.

“Will you marry me?”

Magnus can’t speak, and nods happily. Alec pushes the ring on his finger. They kiss.

Magnus pulls away and holds Alec’s face. “Yes, yes, yes!” They smile and hug.

“Where did you get this ring?” Alec asks. “It’s gorgeous.”

“It was the last thing Raphael gave to me, one of the last things he said to me was – “Follow your heart” – “and my heart is yours.”

[Alec and Magnus leave their room and enter the Institute main room] 

The Shadowhunters have laid Raphael to rest in their belief.

“If this works, he’ll join everyone on the cloud express to upstairs.” Jace says, Clary smacks his arm.

“No jokes, not today!” Jace shuts up.

Isabelle holds hands with Simon, they share a small smile when Magnus and Alec enter.

Magnus and Alec walk down to Raphael’s body.

Alec steps forward first.

“Raphael Santiago was more than a vampire, more than a leader… he was a friend… though he’d be the last person to admit it. He gave his life and soul to those he loved… and his memory will be treasured by all.” Alec lays his hand onto Raphael’s head. “Find peace, my friend.”

A warm golden glow surrounds Raphael.

Magnus steps up, he keeps his composure.

“Raphael was more than a friend to me, he was and still is: my son… For 65 years he has been a friend, a pain, but above all… he is an inspiration.” Magnus turns to Raphael’s body. “You fought against what the world tried to make you. You held your own…” He cries. “You gifted me my life, and united our worlds… even for a little while.”

Alec holds Magnus hand. “I will always love you, Rapha.”

A warm silver glow engulfs Raphael, everyone steps back. 

Meliorn mutters something when little pixie light cover Raphael’s body. His body rises and burns, but turns into light.

Everyone sees Raphael’s face smile in the rising ash.

Magnus and Alec smile,.. He is happy now and they are safe. He saved them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Thanks to everyone he read, left kudos and commented, I hope you liked the overall story and the ending.


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